One Night to Be Confused

Sometimes life makes my head hurt. Even on a day that I pretty much spent switching between laying on the couch and laying in my bed every hour. I should feel safe on a day like that.

I'd like to start out with a couple things.

First off, on a kickoff with about 20 seconds left in the half in the Arizona-Atlanta NFL PLAYOFF GAME, I heard the unthinkable. University of Phoenix Stadium (home of the Arizona Cardinals, who needed a swimming supplies store to buy out the remaining tickets for an NFL PLAYOFF GAME so that there wouldn't be a local blackout) was playing "Leavin'" by Jesse McCartney not only before the kickoff... but during the play! The tackle was almost made before the song was turned off. AN NFL PLAYOFF GAME! I move on.

Charles Barkley has always been controversial. He's punched fans in the face, gambled away tens of millions of dollars, has been seen chugging bottles of Patron, criticized just about every person to have ever played a sport, criticized his alma mater for not hiring my boy Turner Gill, among like a million other things. Now he got caught with maybe the most mentally-devoid DUI arrest in history. Basically, he got pulled over by the cops for a suspected of DUI. Pretty standard, until you hear the rest of the story. These are the various rumors that have been attached to this incident (most of these coming from deadspin.com and Awful Announcing, wonderful sites, google them):

• he refused to take a breathalyzer test, but got blood tests taken that will probably prove him to be guilty anyways
• he told the cop that he was driving fast (and running a stop light) because... well lets ask the officer who wrote his report (from The Smoking Gun): "He asked me, 'You want the truth?' When I told him I did he said, 'I was gonna drive around the corner and get a blow job. He then explained that she had given him a 'blow job' one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life." Well then.
• they found a loaded gun in his vehicle, which they immediately seized
• they also found a box of bear claw donuts. Go figure.
• reports say that he spent that night (before the incident) partying in a V.I.P. lounge with Michael Strahan and Jaleel White... yes, the guy who played Steve freakin' Urkel!

Somebody give me Charles Barkley's number... that sounds like a night and a half! Hell, give me Urkel's!

Needless to say, at this moment, Barkley is still working for TNT Basketball's pre-game show. Barkley can choose any of his normal excuses: the race card, the "I warned you I'm not perfect" card, the "I don't get paid to be a role model" card, or the "I can do it as long as I can afford it" card.

Anyways, an awesome NFL PLAYOFF GAME is on right now, so I think I'm gonna watch it.

Peace.