Monday, March 16, 2009

I Know It's Not the Song... And I Know It's Not the Drink

Yeah, it's been a while. I can't even say it like I'm busy. I really wasn't. I had a ton of time to blog. And I didn't. I should probably change the name of the blog to "Jay's Semi-Weekly Blogging Wonderland".

The snow has melted! I hope it stays away forever. I'm infinitely more jovial when the sun is out. Clearly why I'm moving to Los Angeles. Just to recount... shit I hate list...

Official Stuff I Hate Top 10:
1. Snow (the precipitation, not the 90's-era Canadian rapper)
2. Heights
3. Elevators
4. Brett Favre
5. Mayonnaise
6. Pickles
7. Waking up from sleeping when it's dark out
8. Gin (both the drink and the card game)
9. Rihanna's dyke haircut
10. Faulty vending machines

I've been going on a music rampage lately. Buy (okay download) The-Dream's new album Love vs. Money. Every song is a club banger. So far, "Walkin on the Moon" is my radio single of the year (I'm not exactly sure if it's on the radio yet, I haven't been listening, but it damn well should be). Sickest beat I've heard in a while. Plenty of other hot tracks on it too.

And listen to my boy Drake. He's gonna get huge soon. And then I can say that I told you about him.

Top Five Most Listened to of the Week:
1. The-Dream
2. Drake
3. Lil Wayne
4. Crystal Castles
5. Aphex Twin

Saturday, March 7, 2009

I Will Hunt You Down?

It seems like I say this every time lately... but man it's been a while. I'm basically making a blog post for the hell of it... I really have no idea what I'm about to write. But there's usually a direct correlation between blogging and my mental health (I won't tell you in what direction), so let's see if that comes up true.

First of all, is listening to Ne-Yo a feminine thing for me to do? Because I love me some Ne-Yo (no, not in that way, and yes, I know what the rumors about him were). The dude is just solid, makes hit after hit, even if he kind of looks like an overgrown baby (at least he doesn't look like a fetus).

Second, let me make a formal plea. The Bills need to spend some money on Terrell Owens. Reasons?
A) Entertainment. I am dying to see the city of Buffalo's reaction to a T.O. signing. 25% of the city will be convinced we are winning the Super Bowl. 75% of the city will make petitions against him and protest training camp. And I'm going to love every minute of it.

B) Who cares? We've missed 10 straight playoffs. The worst thing that can happen? We miss eleven. Not a big price for what would be guaranteed as the most entertaining Bills season ever.


I wish I had a webcam (like the MacBook-styled ones). Why? Because I think I could make a successful Youtube series just of me singing along Mariah Carey songs. I really go all-out. I could probably even turn it into a monthly DVD series for $9.95 a month like Girls Gone Wild. Well, maybe not in this economy. But you'd enjoy the infomercial.


Speaking of Mariah Carey (no, I won't hunt you down), I would like to apologize to a couple songs for leaving them off of the Guilty Pleasure list: "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy (almost stuck a fork in my eye when I remembered), "I'm Like a Bird" by Nelly Furtado, any song by Panic at the Disco, "Crank Dat Batman" by the Pop it Off Boys, the Holy Trinity of Ace of Base songs ("I Saw the Sign", "Don't Turn Around", "All That She Wants"), "Summer Nights" by Lil Rob, "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac, "Untouched" by The Veronicas, "Slide" by Goo Goo Dolls, among probably countless of other songs (some people tell me that it should be embarassing that "Come On Eileen" is easily in my top 100 favorite songs). I'm still happy with my original list, but I probably should have thought about it longer. Enrique is still the king.


So about a week back I decided I was gonna get back in the lifting game. I decided to go to GNC for some protein. I do this every time I start up again because I figure that if I blow some money on a product, I'll use it as motivation to work out (which has actually worked). That's right, being healthy, or looking good, or being in good fitness is not enough to motivate me. But if I drop forty bucks, suddenly I'm spending two hours in the gym every day. Funny how that works.

Anyways, I've always had a theory that if I go into GNC with a certain product in mind, (without fail) the douche who works there will tell you not only that there's a different product I should buy, but that he uses it too. I have no clue what their motivation of this is. But it happens every time. Now I was just in GNC like two days earlier with Scott. And of course this happened with the protein he was trying to buy. So I figure I'll just go in, say that I want the one that he suggested to Scott last time, and see what he does.

So I walk in and immediately point out the product in question. And guess what the guy who worked there did (who btdubs, was the same guy that was working when I went with Scott)? He points out a product that was the same price, literally almost had the same specs, same company, just had a different color bag and name.

I urge anyone who goes into GNC to try this. Even if you don't have something in mind when you go in, just pick something and see if they try to convince you into something else. I love social experiments.


Top Ten Most Listened to Artists of the Past Week:
1. My Bloody Valentine
2. Mavado
3. Jah Cure
4. Charles Hamilton
5. Musiq
6. Closure in Moscow
7. City and Colour
8. Guns n Roses
9. Ne-Yo
10. Radiohead

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I Can't Go Onnn

I figured I'd do something fun here. Here is a list of my 10 Biggest Guilty Pleasure songs ever... songs that I'm ashamed to admit that I love.

10. Sisqo - The Thong Song: Okay, so everyone knows I love this song. And to my credit, the video is a modern masterpiece. Sisqo has to get credit for the fact that he created the most intense song ever about women's lingerie. I really appreciate anyone who clearly has a passion for something... no matter what it may be.

9. Paramore - That's What You Get: Yes, I make fun of bands like Paramore all the time. Song's catchy, the singer is cute, and I've rocked out "Misery Business" on Guitar Hero at least a thousand times.

8. The Ronettes - Be My Baby: The only retro pick on the list. Yes, a classic song. No, completely not heterosexual for me to thoroughly enjoy it.

7. Christina Aguilera - Genie in a Bottle: Because you have to rub me the right way.

6. Lil Kim feat. 50 Cent - Magic Stick: Speaking of that.. er... haha. Bad joke. Anyways, I hate 50 Cent, it's true. I say it all the time. It's completely inexplicable for me to enjoy this song but hate countless other songs by Mr. Jackson.

5. Mariah Carey - Fantasy: Okay, maybe I've already come out of the closet with my enjoyment (and emfatuation) of Mariah a thousand times. I guess it probably still deserves to be on the list.

4. Limp Bizkit - N2Gether Now: On the list purely because it's Limp Bizkit. Doesn't change the fact that DJ Premier wasted on of his greatest beats on Fred Durst. Literally, if it was the same exact song and had somebody else's name on it, this would be considered a rap classic.

3. N'Sync - Tearin' Up My Heart: No secret here, if you text me, this is the song I hear.

2. Taylor Swift - Love Story: I probably shouldn't even be allowed to explain myself here. But to my credit, if you ask ten heterosexual dudes if they like this song, two or three of them will begrudgingly start singing "We were both young when I first sarr youuu...". Try it.

1. Enrique Iglesias - Be With You: Yeah. One of my favorite songs ever. I have absolutely no excuse.


Time Until My Birthday Counter: 8 hours, 20 minutes

Monday, February 23, 2009

It's Alright to Say It... As Long As You Don't Really Think So

I'll try to make this one as reasonable as possible.

I'm on the strangest sleep schedule of my life. I basically interchange between sleeping and school work every 12 hours. Okay, it's more like 14 hours of sleep, 8 hours of work, 2 hours of eating and Football Manager Live. And it's always real random times. Lately I've been sleeping the entire daytime, waking up at like 11pm and starting then starting my awake cycle then. Overall, it's pretty messed up. I don't really know how to get out of it. And it's kind of bothering me.

And the strangest part is that at no time in the last 5 days have I decided to go to sleep. I just sort of pass out on the couch randomly (usually at the beginning of a Knicks game replay or during Mike and Mike in the Morning). I'm not sure that's its entirely healthy that I haven't slept in a bed in like a week. Actually, I know its not unhealthy, but it feels so.

Actually yesterday was a funny one. I fell asleep at about noon... and I wake up on the couch and all the lights are on and Shawny is playing Call of Duty 4 as usual. So I start to look around all befuddled, trying to decide what time it was. Not only that, but what freakin' day it was! I really had no clue. So I had an idea of what time it was when I went to sleep, so I started to do the math from there. I figured it could've been any time 48 hours after I went to sleep. But here's the weird part. I also accounted that it may have been 12 hours BEFORE I went to sleep. That's right, somehow in my brain I had convinced myself that I may have traveled backwards in time during my sleep. Yeah. My sleep is so messed up that I now wake up believing that I am capable of time travel.

So I got in my car today around 11am today to go renew my liscense due to it being expired in TWO DAYS. And the sun was out, and I was absolutely thrilled. Again, this was another case of me having ridiculously low expectations for the weather here. Because to a bystander, or two anyone who hasn't spent their entire lifetime in this shit weather... well, it would've just looked like shit. The roadways looked like an abysmal tundra of salty ash. The trees are still as dead and wilted as can possibly be. Yet, because there was a slightly glare on my windshield as I was driving the 290, I smiled a little bit. I guess that's the advantage to having any sort of expectations in life stolen from you by perpetually dreadful conditions.

And that was my happy story for the day. Sorry if it doesn't read well... kinda tired. Onto more work.

-Jay


Days Until I'm 21 Counter: 2

Thursday, February 19, 2009

We Can See the Stars At Point-Blank Range

It's been a while. Lets make this worth it.

First off, busy week. And more busyness to come. I have three articles for the Spectrum due by like Tuesday, so that should be fun. I'm going to be looking at a house for next year. And 19 credits don't really help anything.

But Wednesday I turn 21. That's pretty ill. Counter to come later in the post.


A-Rod... I feel like I should say something about him. I'm not sure I can really say anything that hasn't been beaten into the ground yet. But I do have something to say.

At least he gave an apology. He wasn't forced to do this. He really didn't have to admit anything at all. But unlike Mark McGwire, who sidestepped the steroids question by saying he was going to "look ahead to the future" and help kids from avoiding the juice (btw Mac, where the hell are you?), he admitted to using steroids. Unlike Roger Clemens, who flatly denied and threatened his way into looking like douche of the universe, A-Rod admitted to using steroids. Unlike Andy Pettitte, who said he used it once for injury recovery (okay, so that's not cheating I guess?), A-Rod fully admitted to using steroids for a three year span. Maybe he's not being truthful about every deal. He might not want to snitch out who gave it to him or where he received it. I'm fine with that. So far, his admission was far beyond what the cheaters preceding him had provided. Is he noble for doing this? No, not really. But I'm not gonna give him bullshit like the rest of the media. Not that he cares what I think.


By the way, I'd just like to comment for the 407th time that I hate the weather here. It's crazy how cold and shitty and terrible it can be on a day where I'm feeling optimistic about the weather. Yup, the weather.


So my new music obsession is Charles Hamilton. If you don't like hip-hop, feel free to skip this part. He's a 21 year old rapper from Harlem. I have to think that he's the hardest worker in rap right now (that's right Weezy, eat a fat one). He's released about 11 mixtapes since like September. In fact, he released THREE last week. All full length. And almost all of it is quality stuff. His mixtape "Well Isn't This Awkward..." is good enough to be just about any rapper's full-length album. Not to mention he's just about the best freestyler I've ever seen:
Freestyle on DJ Green Lantern's show Part One

Freestyle on DJ Green Lantern's show Part Two
Freestyle on DJ Skee's show

He's also very eclectic as far as the samples he uses and types of music he delves into. The end of "Well This Isn't Awkward..." is basically a romantic masterpiece (as much as a hip-hop record can be) (no homo). He bases a song around the chorus of "Outside" by Staind (and somehow its good). The music for "November 10th" is taken from Sonic the Hedgehog. He uses samples from The Police, Michael Jackson, The Offspring, various other rock bands, soul, "Zombie Nation", Windows XP, Mortal Kombat, and just about everything else he can get his hands on. Really, I haven't stopped listening to him in two days.
"Brooklyn Girls"
"The Penthouse Elevator"
"November 10th"
And he has an awesome blog.

I'd also like to put a good word in for my boy Drake. He's a rapper/singer who's probably going to make it huge too. Couple good ones:
"Houstatlantavegas"
"Replacement Girl"


Most Played Artists Last Week (according to last.fm):
1. Charles Hamilton
2. Drake
3. Cold War Kids
4. A Tribe Called Quest
5. Glassjaw

Days Until I Turn 21 Counter: 6
Days Until I Stop Feeling Insane: ?TBD

-Peace n Love, Jay

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Home Is Where The Heart Is... On The Bus

A good sign I need to move: I was stoked about 50-degree weather today.

So... A-Rod admitted he took steroids, Chris Brown punched Rihanna, and Clay Aiken came out within the last five years. Yet, you won't be hearing about any of that here. Because I have more important things to discuss.

First off, the three-ply toilet paper experiment has been completed. And let me say, you should probably pass on it. Just not a positive experience overall. I mean, I guess it was okay, but sometimes there is a such thing as too much thickness (that's what she probably didn't say). It was just kind of uncomfortable. Learn it from me: there's no need for three-dimensional toilet paper.

I made a terrible omission last night as far as the Grammys go. WHY THE HELL WAS NEIL DIAMOND ON STAGE? I mean really... did Cyndi Lauper cancel? Jimmy Buffett? I think I would've rather seen Kenny Chesney play the entire show with a fork than see Neil Diamond up there. I completely forgot about this destruction of the human brain because I literally forced myself to forget about it by using one of those mind eraser things from Men in Black (and PCP). But then I was reminded of it today. And I'm worse-off because of it.

You know what I really hate? When somebody says "no pun intended", yet it's almost impossible to figure out what the actual pun/joke was. It almost absolutely guarantees that there was a badly intended pun.


-Jay

Monday, February 9, 2009

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Silence

I somehow managed to successfully finish that article. It sure was tough work, maybe I should learn a little bit about track & field. Or maybe not.


Tonight's Grammys were probably the highlight of my night (sadly enough). They were actually pretty entertaining this year, especially in comparison to other years.

First thing's first: Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry and Estelle officially can't sing. And I love "American Boy".

I'm not actually going to get into the winners, because everyone knows that the voting process is BS anyways. But there were some performances I really liked.

I love Stevie Wonder and Al Green. So the more times that they are on stage, the better it is for me. "Swagga Like Us" was pretty cool, although M.I.A.'s baby may have been killed in the process (she was scheduled to give birth on that day! wtf?). The BB King, John Mayer, Keith Urban deal was pretty good. JT was awesome (as always). "Tie My Hands" from Lil Wayne and Robin Thicke was equally good, as I already loved that song. I'm going to try to limit my Paul McCartney mentioning to once, as it seemed every person who got on stage felt the need to suck him off. Guys, he was in The Beatles, he doesn't need any sucking off. Try somebody who needs the self-confidence boost (Kanye's hair, for instance).

Oh yeah, I literally could not speak when Carrie Underwood came on stage. I was literally frozen. That's the best that I can put it into words. I literally used the word 'breathtaking' for the first time in my life (no homo dawg). And most people know my predisposed bias against blondes. And I don't care if she doesn't know my last name.


MTV rolled out with a pretty sweet Sunday lineup tonight. Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory was hilarious, basically because he's hilarious. The CollegeHumor Show was surprisingly funny, although I wouldn't care much if Amir got stabbed with an AIDS needle. After that it was Travis Pastrana's show Nitro Circus, which basically has him and his friends doing insane stuff. He jumped out of a freaking plane without a parachute. Dude's legitimately nuts. After that was a basically a news show (forgot the name) with a bunch of mentally-challenged people. I will not comment much further in an effort to not offend anyone (though I may have already done so with the AIDS comment), but I will say that it was pretty funny. An overall solid two hours of television, none of which including Spencer's face growth/squirrel-ish looking thing.

Oh, and listen to/watch this. I haven't found a better take/parody of popular music yet.


Top Five Most Listened to of the Week (you know the deal)
1. Glassjaw
2. Lupe Fiasco
3. Bright Eyes
4. Vampire Weekend
5. Thrice

Days Until My 21st Birthday
: 16 (just two days until I can call it a fortnight!!)