Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Home Is Where The Heart Is... On The Bus

A good sign I need to move: I was stoked about 50-degree weather today.

So... A-Rod admitted he took steroids, Chris Brown punched Rihanna, and Clay Aiken came out within the last five years. Yet, you won't be hearing about any of that here. Because I have more important things to discuss.

First off, the three-ply toilet paper experiment has been completed. And let me say, you should probably pass on it. Just not a positive experience overall. I mean, I guess it was okay, but sometimes there is a such thing as too much thickness (that's what she probably didn't say). It was just kind of uncomfortable. Learn it from me: there's no need for three-dimensional toilet paper.

I made a terrible omission last night as far as the Grammys go. WHY THE HELL WAS NEIL DIAMOND ON STAGE? I mean really... did Cyndi Lauper cancel? Jimmy Buffett? I think I would've rather seen Kenny Chesney play the entire show with a fork than see Neil Diamond up there. I completely forgot about this destruction of the human brain because I literally forced myself to forget about it by using one of those mind eraser things from Men in Black (and PCP). But then I was reminded of it today. And I'm worse-off because of it.

You know what I really hate? When somebody says "no pun intended", yet it's almost impossible to figure out what the actual pun/joke was. It almost absolutely guarantees that there was a badly intended pun.


-Jay

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