A good sign I need to move: I was stoked about 50-degree weather today.
So... A-Rod admitted he took steroids, Chris Brown punched Rihanna, and Clay Aiken came out within the last five years. Yet, you won't be hearing about any of that here. Because I have more important things to discuss.
First off, the three-ply toilet paper experiment has been completed. And let me say, you should probably pass on it. Just not a positive experience overall. I mean, I guess it was okay, but sometimes there is a such thing as too much thickness (that's what she probably didn't say). It was just kind of uncomfortable. Learn it from me: there's no need for three-dimensional toilet paper.
I made a terrible omission last night as far as the Grammys go. WHY THE HELL WAS NEIL DIAMOND ON STAGE? I mean really... did Cyndi Lauper cancel? Jimmy Buffett? I think I would've rather seen Kenny Chesney play the entire show with a fork than see Neil Diamond up there. I completely forgot about this destruction of the human brain because I literally forced myself to forget about it by using one of those mind eraser things from Men in Black (and PCP). But then I was reminded of it today. And I'm worse-off because of it.
You know what I really hate? When somebody says "no pun intended", yet it's almost impossible to figure out what the actual pun/joke was. It almost absolutely guarantees that there was a badly intended pun.
-Jay
Showing posts with label Grammys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grammys. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Silence
I somehow managed to successfully finish that article. It sure was tough work, maybe I should learn a little bit about track & field. Or maybe not.
Tonight's Grammys were probably the highlight of my night (sadly enough). They were actually pretty entertaining this year, especially in comparison to other years.
First thing's first: Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry and Estelle officially can't sing. And I love "American Boy".
I'm not actually going to get into the winners, because everyone knows that the voting process is BS anyways. But there were some performances I really liked.
I love Stevie Wonder and Al Green. So the more times that they are on stage, the better it is for me. "Swagga Like Us" was pretty cool, although M.I.A.'s baby may have been killed in the process (she was scheduled to give birth on that day! wtf?). The BB King, John Mayer, Keith Urban deal was pretty good. JT was awesome (as always). "Tie My Hands" from Lil Wayne and Robin Thicke was equally good, as I already loved that song. I'm going to try to limit my Paul McCartney mentioning to once, as it seemed every person who got on stage felt the need to suck him off. Guys, he was in The Beatles, he doesn't need any sucking off. Try somebody who needs the self-confidence boost (Kanye's hair, for instance).
Oh yeah, I literally could not speak when Carrie Underwood came on stage. I was literally frozen. That's the best that I can put it into words. I literally used the word 'breathtaking' for the first time in my life (no homo dawg). And most people know my predisposed bias against blondes. And I don't care if she doesn't know my last name.
MTV rolled out with a pretty sweet Sunday lineup tonight. Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory was hilarious, basically because he's hilarious. The CollegeHumor Show was surprisingly funny, although I wouldn't care much if Amir got stabbed with an AIDS needle. After that it was Travis Pastrana's show Nitro Circus, which basically has him and his friends doing insane stuff. He jumped out of a freaking plane without a parachute. Dude's legitimately nuts. After that was a basically a news show (forgot the name) with a bunch of mentally-challenged people. I will not comment much further in an effort to not offend anyone (though I may have already done so with the AIDS comment), but I will say that it was pretty funny. An overall solid two hours of television, none of which including Spencer's face growth/squirrel-ish looking thing.
Oh, and listen to/watch this. I haven't found a better take/parody of popular music yet.
Top Five Most Listened to of the Week (you know the deal)
1. Glassjaw
2. Lupe Fiasco
3. Bright Eyes
4. Vampire Weekend
5. Thrice
Days Until My 21st Birthday: 16 (just two days until I can call it a fortnight!!)
Tonight's Grammys were probably the highlight of my night (sadly enough). They were actually pretty entertaining this year, especially in comparison to other years.
First thing's first: Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry and Estelle officially can't sing. And I love "American Boy".
I'm not actually going to get into the winners, because everyone knows that the voting process is BS anyways. But there were some performances I really liked.
I love Stevie Wonder and Al Green. So the more times that they are on stage, the better it is for me. "Swagga Like Us" was pretty cool, although M.I.A.'s baby may have been killed in the process (she was scheduled to give birth on that day! wtf?). The BB King, John Mayer, Keith Urban deal was pretty good. JT was awesome (as always). "Tie My Hands" from Lil Wayne and Robin Thicke was equally good, as I already loved that song. I'm going to try to limit my Paul McCartney mentioning to once, as it seemed every person who got on stage felt the need to suck him off. Guys, he was in The Beatles, he doesn't need any sucking off. Try somebody who needs the self-confidence boost (Kanye's hair, for instance).
Oh yeah, I literally could not speak when Carrie Underwood came on stage. I was literally frozen. That's the best that I can put it into words. I literally used the word 'breathtaking' for the first time in my life (no homo dawg). And most people know my predisposed bias against blondes. And I don't care if she doesn't know my last name.
MTV rolled out with a pretty sweet Sunday lineup tonight. Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory was hilarious, basically because he's hilarious. The CollegeHumor Show was surprisingly funny, although I wouldn't care much if Amir got stabbed with an AIDS needle. After that it was Travis Pastrana's show Nitro Circus, which basically has him and his friends doing insane stuff. He jumped out of a freaking plane without a parachute. Dude's legitimately nuts. After that was a basically a news show (forgot the name) with a bunch of mentally-challenged people. I will not comment much further in an effort to not offend anyone (though I may have already done so with the AIDS comment), but I will say that it was pretty funny. An overall solid two hours of television, none of which including Spencer's face growth/squirrel-ish looking thing.
Oh, and listen to/watch this. I haven't found a better take/parody of popular music yet.
Top Five Most Listened to of the Week (you know the deal)
1. Glassjaw
2. Lupe Fiasco
3. Bright Eyes
4. Vampire Weekend
5. Thrice
Days Until My 21st Birthday: 16 (just two days until I can call it a fortnight!!)
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